We experience menopause together but different.
For you, estrogen is the savior, for me it’s the enemy.
Feeding my tumor and my ability to feel supple in my body.
A life force for my parasite but also for my youth.
Aging is creeping in around the skin and eyes.
Women are finally being heard and getting a prescription for this magical hormone.
Estrogen creams and collagens supplements, and looking good for it and more importantly feeling good for it.
Green tea extracts and vitamin c for me.
It's safe for now they say.
Deep breath.
I have a deep, easy breath, rooted in the now.
My body is strong and pain free.
My loyal and trusty container changing with time.
Moving toward the ground as gravity pulls me toward earth.
I cannot fret over age as it comes, it comes, it comes, it comes.
Please let it keep coming.
Until it is used up and ready for its return to dust as the essence is released back into the expanse.
Have you ever let your body lead a moment?
As I was dancing last night at an event in my town, my body felt so free and happy. You see, I've lost my inhibitions to move my body to give it joy and comfort. In the town where I live I participated in a Dance Wave which is hosted by the Living Arts Collective. https://www.livingartscollective.com/dancewave/ It takes place outside in a large park with huge old trees. As the sun sets the music starts. Slow and earthy at first, building to fast energetic rhythms, until it slows again to rest in stillness and community.
I've always loved to dance. Dancing in my teens and twenties was my way of engaging potential friends and lovers. This was a Dance of hide and seek, of hip gyrations to tempt and be tempted, to get attention and to give attention. This is the way dance felt most powerful to my essence.
Now in my forties, I dance only for myself. I move my body only ways that it calls to me to bring it pleasure and joy. I command my brain to stop speaking to me. If it tries to tell me who is watching me, I close my eyes. If my mind places judgements or criticisms about how it imagines it looks, I gently remind it that it is the body's time to play and the body does not need it's input. My body shakes, gyrates, bends, floats, rotates and jiggles. Doing this in community with others who are moving their bodies collectively for joy seems almost like an act of resistance. We are not buying, consuming, producing, computing or figuring, we are just a group of mammals coming together to move our bones and muscles and the energy is intoxicating.
All of our bodies will once again return to the earth. While we are here, alive and rooted, full of sensation, I beg you to dive into your body. Move it, explore it. See how it jiggles. This body is the playground for your essence. Please remember that and give it a voice through movement. I hope to see your body moving and grooving soon.
