This is so obvious to me, and yet when I'm out in the world, I still get questions. I don't mind them. Every person who has asked me has been genuinely listening — and I've been listening back. There's something about this conversation that invites real connection.
So let me answer it properly: why did I choose to stay flat after my mastectomy?
1. I already stopped wearing a bra on weekends — and I loved it.
Before surgery, I had discovered the quiet joy of going braless on days off. No underwire. No straps. No sweaty underbust situation to deal with at the end of the day. I didn't mind the jiggle. I liked the freedom. I was tired of tying them down. So when it came to reconstruction, part of me thought — why go back?
2. Reconstruction in a diseased breast is not the same as augmentation.
There's a common assumption that reconstruction means you simply "get them back." But the reality is more complicated. Outcomes are often uneven. Most reconstructions are nippleless. The shape is frequently different from the original. It's not a cosmetic upgrade — it's a surgical workaround in compromised tissue, and the results are often just weird looking.
3. Either way, you're not getting sensation back.
Here's something nobody really talks about: you don't have sensation in a flat chest after mastectomy either. That's gone regardless. So this was never a choice between feeling and not feeling.
What it actually came down to was this — why would I carry around silicone or saline bags that I can only feel weighing me down from the inside? There is no sensation across the skin of the reconstructed breast.
I am okay being flat in a dress or on a beach. I've been wearing temporary tattoos and going topless on the beach and at music festivals. I look at my body as the package of my soul, and I can move my package as I like. It's liberating.
If others are uncomfortable with how I look, I secretly hope that they really see me. The smile on my face, the way I'm moving my body with ease and grace. I hope that they see that I am happy. I am shining. That is what I want them to see.
Disclaimer: Everyone's journey is different. These are my reasons. If you're navigating this decision, I'd love to hear your thoughts!
0 Comments